Eye Exam

Elise had her eye exam today and it did not go well. I will get technical for my optometry friends. She has a very large optic nerve coloboma in her right eye that encompasses her macula. Her left optic nerve is hypoplastic and left macula has a poor foveal light reflex. She also has persistent hyperplastic primary vitreous in both eyes- more prominent in her right eye than her left. To translate, this means her right eye will most likely not have any functional vision. Her left eye could, but only time will tell.
My level of devastation cannot be put into words. We knew all of these issues were possibilities but we hoped and prayed that if nothing else, her eyes would be okay.
Just when I think I'm out of tears, more begin to flow.

After they kindly allowed me to see it all for myself, the doctors stepped out of the room. I literally felt like my heart was just ripped out of my chest.  Then I heard this song playing quietly on my Pandora. I don't have any words tonight other than to say that God is holding us right now and although we have absolutely no clue why all of this has happened to our sweet girl, we will just keep fighting on.

How He Loves     Listen Here...

And He is jealous from me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions
Eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us all

And He is jealous from me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions
Eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

Oh, how He loves, yeah, He loves us
Oh, how He loves us, oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves

And we are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

Oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves all
How He loves

Yeah, He loves us, oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us, oh how He loves
Oh, I love

Yeah, He loves us, yeah, He loves us
How He loves us, oh, how He loves us all